the Escape Vehicle

2008-01-28T11:07:00.001-06:00

Salivating...

2007-12-02T20:51:00.001-06:00

You know what?

2007-10-20T12:47:00.000-06:00

I don't care what anyone says. Lego's kick ass.

Built this last weekend...
It's a 4-Cylinder boxer engine ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxer_engine )

this is old...

2007-10-17T16:50:00.001-06:00

wipes dust off

2007-08-12T12:14:00.001-06:00

Alright, lets see here... What's new?

Oh yeah. Put a cabin air filter in my car. You see, most cars don't come with one. In most cases, there's a tray behind the glove box that you can slide out and stick an air filter into. This is part of the climate control system. Now, I don't get a nasty dust-like smell when I have the air conditioning on.

About a week after that, I bought some clear side markers off E-bay... yeah, another car thing. Side markers are the little lights on cars, sometimes right in front of the doors or down on the bumper next to the headlights. If your headlights don't wrap around enough on the front, other drivers to the side of you can't see where you are in the dark, or if your blinker is on. Legally, they have to light up orange... Usually it's a small light inside an orange casing. This means that on nice cars like mine, you get a big ugly orange spot on the side. These new ones are clear plastic with an orange light inside -- light up orange like they're supposed to, but look muuuuch better. Silvery smooth sweetness... Until you get to my big bright red tail-lights. I hope to do something about that soon.

In other news, I've changed some things, personally. I'm a little bit happier with myself. A little bit more worldly... A little bit more understanding. Done away with some things I never liked, indulged in some curiosities, and gained a hell of a lot of wisdom. Hate me for what I've done if you want, I can live with it. They're all parts of what make me who I am.

Been making friends with some really good people. It's nice to have people that wonder where you are when you're not hanging out with them. Things were going pretty well for a while. I thought I was doing pretty well by myself. Being single was relaxing. I finally had the chance to treat myself the way I felt others should. Just trying to be a good person isn't enough. We live in a selfish society. You can go out and try to help people -- be nice to them, loan them money when they need it, give them car rides when needed, listen to them when they need to vent... But that doesn't mean they'll do the same for you. If you feel you deserve something, you have to go out and make it so. Don't wait around for it to happen. Be aggressive.

So, that's what I was doing. I was making myself happy. Then, I realized something... Even though I'm going out and doing what I want, there's still something missing... I'm lonely. So I started flirting... getting phone numbers... meeting lots of girls. All kinds, of course. I was trying to keep an open mind. People change, and you can't rule out one person entirely because of a bad history or a personality quirk. So, I met this girl. Maneuvered herself into a conversation with me, tricked me into swapping phone numbers, and definitely won me over. This all, even though her friend told her I was gay. Oh, and I must say, there's something particularly sexy about a girl who goes after what she wants even when someone tells her something like that.

And so, things are good. Haven't felt this great in a long time.

first step

2007-07-21T11:59:00.001-06:00

so... the first thing i do to my car is put in a new air filter... lame.

lucky

2007-07-12T21:49:00.000-06:00

deep breath

2007-07-11T22:34:00.000-06:00

Andrew, Rachel, Killian, and Jake are pretty fucking cool people.

Tool is no good for calming down.

I should be sleeping.

I should be writing. I've got a lot down, seriously... Typed up too. I just need to finish it. Book? yeah.

Being single is pretty nice, but it gets to me sometimes.

Right now is one of those times.

2007-07-10T21:54:00.000-06:00

coincidence, man.

distractions are good. hopes are high. the nagging curiosity is only a minor annoyance now... i have bigger fish to fry.

but seriously, all this coincidental shit is freaking me the fuck out. cars being replaced with other nearly identical cars... phone numbers being extremely similar... all the fucking "rachel/rachael"'s i've met in the last few days... one of them reads stephen king. Seriously, I don't know how to interpret this shit.

put some mustard on that sandwich.

2007-07-01T14:15:00.000-06:00

sleep is for the weak, i've decided. I need to spice things up. Pass the dijon and give me four habanero peppers...

2007-06-25T21:39:00.000-06:00

It's never going to stop eating at me.
Not a day has gone by that I haven't wondered what she's up to.

I should write more of my story. I was doing so well. Six pages in three days. I'm feeling good about it, but right now, I... I don't know... I think I die a little bit inside every time I think about her.

And then I get angry. Why the fuck do I even care? Why do I think about it? It's over. I'm out there, I'm single, I'm looking around. I'm finding. I'm trying. I'm... not happy.

Wednesdays, behind the Cinema Center

2007-06-20T21:43:00.000-06:00

Pics from the racetrack

2007-06-20T21:40:00.000-06:00

...a little late, and only a few...

Some dealership brought in a Ford GT... it was pretty nice...

Zoom out

2007-06-19T16:00:00.001-06:00

Sometimes the most simple shit can become so difficult.

I've become very disconnected from everything lately. I don't know what my friends are up to -- I try to spend time with them and it never works out. Nobody answers their phones and nobody calls me back. I am, regrettably, quite desperate for companionship. The whole "single" thing has been getting to me, and this tunnel has no light at the end. I've been getting text messages and e-mails that pull me in one direction, followed by others that drag me back again. When Rachel left me, I realized I had nothing else. I had given up the rest of my life outside of work to spend time with her, and now that she's gone, I have nowhere to go. But did I really have anything beforehand? I think about it, and I really can't say for sure. It was easy to give up... I didn't have much.

I've been looking around for a junk car. Something I can work on. Put a big 'ol engine in it and take it down to the track on nights off to run quarter miles and screw around with honda punks who think they're the shit. The money-saving is going slowly, but fairly steady. I'm also considering converting my Celica to manual transmission. About $2,500 for parts, but I think I can do all the labor myself. That's what I'd truly love to do, but getting the gearbox is a hefty task, from what I understand. I could spend months looking for a used one and spend $600, or go straight to the dealership and get a new one for $2,100. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping luck finds me.

Saw the faint last thursday. Good show. Played my favorites... Agenda Suicide, drop kick the punks and the conductor. Hot, sweaty, and fucking insane.

Sunday, I went and saw Tortoise at the waiting room. The opening band was called "Lichen" We're all standing around, the crowd starting to gather around the stage. A black guy in a dress shirt and real tight jeans sit down on a stool to the far right of the stage and starts tuning a guitar. It's an SG-style all natural wood finish with flower designs carved out in it. He finishes tuning the guitar, puts it down, and picks up the microphone. His movements are all very meticulous, slow, and confident. He starts whistling and making chirping sounds, pushes a pedal, loops that, then loops another layer of the same sounds over that. Does this about four times, until it sounds like you're in a rain forest. Then, he picks up the guitar and starts playing slowly... a few notes, slowly, soulful. building up until eventually he's rocking out like hendrix playing the star-spangled banner. Jams like that for a while, then puts down the guitar and picks up the mic again. This time, he starts wailing like a shaman. It blew my fucking mind. He only played those two songs, then tortoise got out on stage. Tortoise puts on a good show -- All smiles on the band's face, laughter, lighthearted. Great feeling.

Right now, I'm stuffed up like mad and feeling a little under the weather. I'd like to get out and do something, but I don't know what there is to do, who to do what with, or anything of that nature. I think I'll take it easy, get back to good health, read some comic books, and fix up my brother's computer.

2007-06-15T17:10:00.000-06:00

the faint. nicky. reboot art book. comic universe mayhem.

the last two days are insanity.

golf tomorrow with the guys from work. woo!

I'm gonna do it.

2007-06-11T18:33:00.001-06:00

It's pretty much decided. My parents are even behind me on this one.

I'm gonna build me a racecar.

Immigrant Song

2007-06-09T21:49:00.000-06:00

Oh yeah, zeppelin, bowie... Itunes pleasantly surprises me all the time.

Good day today. They've been scarce lately, so this is going to let me keep my head above water for a little while longer.

Had lunch with Nicki. She's cool... Into comic books, cute... five feet tall. I like meeting new people.

Free concert. Deformities, Speech Impediments, Jaeger Fight. Allan signed cleavage. I took pics.

2007-06-04T19:13:00.001-06:00

Mondays were a bad invention.

Soundwave superior, constructicons inferior

2007-06-03T22:52:00.000-06:00

Other people who make art are horribly intimidating.

I have an inferiority complex.

2007-06-02T17:00:00.001-06:00

it's really dark in here.

get me out.

Lame

2007-06-01T20:19:00.000-06:00

I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go...

But i got a ticket to the faint.

You know what?

2007-05-31T20:15:00.000-06:00

I lie.

(to myself)

Hence the bad karma, I guess.
That's why I deserve it.

hello?

2007-05-30T21:16:00.000-06:00

Where are you people when I need you?
I really can't be trusted by myself. I do foolish things.

And so...

2007-05-29T20:26:00.000-06:00

The man was put to death before the court found he was innocent.

Jeeeesus

2007-05-29T17:20:00.000-06:00

fucking christ.

I must've gotten... what? about three cumulative hours of sleep last night?
I simply could not fall asleep.
wtf?

Not sure

2007-05-28T21:57:00.001-06:00

I don't quite know what's going on in my head, but I think it's ridiculous and I wish it would stop.
Fucking shit.
Sometimes dreams really suck.

we looked like rock stars

2007-05-28T15:24:00.000-06:00

Saturday, mid afternoon. We were hanging out at Vincent's when we started to get hungry. Fast food was the craving. The time being just after two, there was no one in the restaurant. Even the employees were hard to find. One of them was mopping the floor, the rest hiding in the back by the fryers.

The one mopping looks up at us and in a thick Mexican accent exclaims, "Hey, you guys look like rock stars."

I turn to look at Vincent in confused misunderstanding, finding him just as dumbfounded as I am. After thinking about it for a moment, I recognize it too: Four scruffy guys all walk into a fast food joint together. We look like we're in a band.

"Actually, we're not... but we'll take it as a compliment." Is all I can figure out to say.

We give our orders at the register, get our food, and sit at one of the tables near the middle of the dining room. The Mexican pulls over a chair and sits in it backwards next to our table.

"So, do you guys play any instruments?" he asks, giving equal eye contact to each of us as he speaks.

Dave shakes his head and Jim replies only with "We're not that talented."

I raise my hand and respond to them both, "Hey, choose your words carefully. I play bass, learning guitar, and I write songs."

The Mexican's eyes light up and he excitedly shouts "Oh, me too!" Raising his hands and strumming an air guitar for a few chords, he continues "I just love to groove. That sound is perfect. Nothing else like the bass."

"Oh, I know. That's why I picked it. There's so much life in that instrument."

i used to have plans

2007-05-25T17:42:00.000-06:00

yeah, lets all ditch levi. it's the cool thing to do.

fuckers.

bad habit

2007-05-22T19:53:00.001-06:00

that nagging curiosity will be the death of me. I... just... can't... ugh. Yeah, still a little upset about it.

I need somebody to love.

After the concert...

2007-05-22T17:36:00.001-06:00

So, in case you're out of the loop... Here's what went down. Friday, I took the day off work to catch up on some sleep for the concert I was going to that night. My brothers Noah and Eric, and myself all drove down to Lawrence, Kansas to see Clutch at the Granada. It kicked ass. Met up with Andrew and Trina, tried to get tattoos, rocked out, then ate some Ihop. We spent the night at "America's Best Value Inn", then drove back to Omaha. As soon as I got back home, I washed my car, took a shower, then headed straight to Fremont for the first "Midwest Celica Club Meet" (hereafter referred to as the MWCC).

I used my camera more this last weekend than I have so far, most likely. So here's some pics from the meet...

Five people made the trip up from Lincoln. First, we have Zach with the Carbon Blue GT.

I'm not sure who it was that had the White GT, but it was a nice one.

An Asian guy from Lincoln bought a thoroughly modified white GTS with a full Veilside kit, aftermarket fenders, and some vent cutouts that gave it a sweet, aggressive look.

Someone else brought a Silver TRD GT... Also very nice.

While we were sitting around in a parking lot taking pictures, someone else drove up with a Red GT and joined... He didn't know what was going on!

Nate brought his white GT, and I still want to steal his rims.

Mine was there, of course...

Brandon's is still my favorite, this time in wingless flavor!

After standing around for a bit, we went out for a ride. We hit some county roads outside of town and let things go. I was flying around at 90mph... and now I need a radar detector.

To end things, we all rolled into Sonic. Fitting for a car meet, I think.

First thing's first...

2007-05-20T11:22:00.000-06:00

To start, Backyard Tire Fire rocked their bluesy southern rock asses off. Regrettably, only one of my pictures turned out... But you can tell just by the look on the bassist's face that they were down to business.

Then, the Bell Rays showed us a little bit of soul. I've never seen a band feed off the crowd the way they did. The singer jumped into the crowd, I was able to snatch up a guitar pick, and the drummer looked like he was having a seizure. Good times!

But of course, we were there for Clutch. Neil's the five foot man with a nine foot voice. Tim Sult was jammin' on the guitar all night, and I was in awe. Not quite as much charisma as I've seen from some other bands, but they knew what they were doing. I'd have more pictures, but I've got a crappy camera and we had to retreat from the front row. Oh, did I mention that? Front and center for most of my first Clutch show. Yeah, it was good.

Noah and I tripped down with Eric, our older brother (on the left). We met with Andy and Trina, the two nuts on the right. They're myspace friends and total clutch freaks... Went out for Ihop afterward, tried to get clutch tattoos. Crazy time.

2007-05-14T20:56:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who knows what's going on. I try to tell people, try to show them, but I just can't get them to see.

Clutch - The Incomparable Mr. Flannery

2007-05-14T19:09:00.000-06:00

First we get some surgery,
Lose the kids then our identities.
But one thing I know for a fact, Moustache stays right where its at.
REO Speedwagon, Kansas to Boston.
My ankle bracelet, already gone and lost it.
Them yellow jackets keep the tired man from slacking.

It's fun to run into people you haven't seen in a while...

third.

2007-05-13T22:16:00.000-06:00

And for my third post of today... I can't sleep. yeah, yeah, it's only 11:30, but I need some friggin sleep, yo. Waking up at 6am means my ass needs to be in bed at a decent time. I'm too upset about shit and I slept in too long this morning. What am I supposed to do?

2007-05-13T19:18:00.000-06:00

Getting yelled at really doesn't help anything, though. That was rather uncalled for. So much for life being on the upswing. I need a stiff drink and a short rope.

I made a good decision.

2007-05-13T18:59:00.000-06:00

Damn... the Deformities can really put on a show. And to think, I went just because I was bored.

Oh, and people from Lincoln are a lot cooler than a lot of the people I know from Omaha. Or at least, they make better first impressions. Getting a phone number really helps your self-esteem.

2007-05-10T22:12:00.001-06:00

Good god...

Rocking your ass off does feel good.

2007-05-09T21:38:00.001-06:00

You used me, and the least you could do is admit to it.

Now I'm going to try and go to sleep, because I know there I won't be tempted to jump out of a third story window.

refreshing

2007-05-08T20:34:00.000-06:00

Thank you, Darcy.

I don't mind...

2007-05-06T16:21:00.000-06:00

I don't mind lovin' somebody.
Makes me feel all right.
But I guess that empty feeling
comes from not bein' loved back.

Livin' seems selfish
'less you got someone who cares.

So, I can't do this on my own,
I'm not that kind of guy.
If it's not too much to ask, baby,
I need you to put pressure on the wound.

It's not love
if you do it for yourself.

you owe me

2007-05-04T16:35:00.000-06:00

One book, a comic, two movies, a sweatshirt, a hat, and a cell phone battery.
Oh, and about $1,600. Yeah, that's what I spent on gas, food, gifts, and movie tickets.

You know what, though? They're all material things. That's why I found it so easy to give them up. I said I didn't want money to hold us back. I'm all about living a life with as few limits as possible. That's how you enjoy stuff. Crazy theory, huh?

Although, that comic book has some sentimental value...

I told myself I wasn't going to get all emo about it, but I really can't help it. This sucks serious baboon ass.

So, anyway, motherfuckers... I know of about three people that might check this thing on the regular. Anybody else? Comments are open. Lemme know who you all are.

I can't

2007-05-01T18:52:00.000-06:00

I can't do this. Not on my own.
I have nowhere to go, and the only person I have the confidence to count on has created a distance between us.

painting

2007-04-30T21:09:00.001-06:00

the Annual ToyotaLand.Org Meetup!

2007-04-22T11:42:00.000-06:00

Oh, man... What an awesome show! 7:30am yesterday, all the Celica owners we could round up from Omaha met at the McDonald's on 84th and from there we tripped down to Kansas City in a group. A group of six 7th Generation (the version I own) Celica owners flying down the interstate at 90mph is about the biggest rush of adrenaline ever. When we got there, we saw two more 7th gens and a whole bunch of MR2's. Sweet cars, great food, and a raffle. I got a hat!

A couple of guys from Arkansas made the trip, and brought a nice Carbon blue TRD GT.

Someone brought a yellow MR2 spyder... A definite show stealer. Not just because it was the only Spyder, but because of that screaming yellow paintjob!

Just after we all arrived, this guy brought in a Red 4th Gen Supra. It may have been automatic, but it had a beastly turbo on it and except for an oil leak, was in near perfect condition.

Nate from Omaha brought down a clean white Celica with a set of Enkei rims... Oh, and some bad memories...

There was a slick carbon blue Celica with a Kaminari body kit on it... And I can't not mention my dream rims, the 5Zigen FN01R-C's.

This is Curt's Celica... He's from Fremont, and going for a goal of 500 horsepower. It'll be a beast when it's done. I kinda dig the VIS spoiler he put on there. It's way more aggressive than the stock wing, but not too outrageous like some of the spoilers you can find.

Brandon brought his Black Bomex-Kitted Celica from Lincoln. It had the most work done on it out of anyone in our group. I think I might be in love.

420 horsepower in an MR2? Yeah... with the biggest exhaust pipes I've ever seen on a car that small...

Just a few pics of my car in the group. Brandon to one side, and a guy from Souix City to the other side.

All of them lined up together... It was a beautiful sight. Brings a tear to one's eye.

Curt is planning another meet, this time Celica only, at his place in Fremont next month. Next weekend, I'm going over to his garage to switch out my lift bolts. It's great to meet people with the same interest in cars, and even better when they own the same car.

This one's dedicated to...

2007-04-20T18:35:00.000-06:00

I don't know what took me so long to get this out. Four months later, the mood is right, I guess. I think I have some catching up with myself that I need to do.

    The drive normally takes about fifteen minutes. Tonight, I've just passed twenty and I'm not much past half way. I have the windows rolled down and except for the sound of the air rushing past, there is silence. Other cars pass me on the highway as if I were standing still. Their engines rumble through the quiet night like a thunderstorm in the distance.
    My chest is heavy and my hands unsteady. Emotion has the best of me right now. I guess its fitting -- over-dramatics were what tore us apart. I regret everything.
    We were against the odds from the start. Her parents never approved and our time together was sparse. Her car broke down but I stepped up. Everyone said high school romances never last beyond graduation. We proved them wrong, but the marriage we often joked about was apparently never meant to be.
    Maybe it was the suicide threat that cut the final string. Dramatic silence on the phone line followed by an abrupt click. I had grown accustomed to hang-ups. That race took only ten minutes, as I arrived to find her laughing at a movie with her family. The same family that left her out on her own, living with me for several weeks as she tried to get things back in order. I was so selfish, she said. Paying her rent, paying for dinner, always making sure she was the first to orgasm.
    Yeah, selfish.
    I knew for a long time that it was an unhealthy relationship, but I never had the guts to cut it off. My last words to her were still "I love you."
    I'm not crying. Normally, this kind of thing would send me straight to paralyzing tears, bawling like the spineless pussy I know I am. This time, she was the one crying. I actually felt vindicated making her burst into tears. For the first time, I felt like breaking up was the solution. So many other times before, it felt like running away. But, I'm not running away now. Creeping down the highway at thirty five miles per hour, below the legal minimum speed, I'm giving her the chance to catch up. I was always chasing, always trying to get her back. I'm done with that lifestyle. Following her was getting me nowhere.

Snapped a few pictures...

2007-04-19T19:47:00.000-06:00

I may have an unhealthy obsession with my car...

There are a lot of things I could be writing about right here, right now, but I'm just not feeling up to it. When I say a lot, I mean it as much as a man could. Shit is serious right now, yo.

Going to the Kansas City area on Saturday for a Toyota owners club meet. It should be a lot of fun. Expect to see pictures when I return.

A few things.

2007-04-07T15:03:00.000-06:00

First of all, go see 300. In the theater. If you wait for it on DVD and you only see it on a TV screen, you will most definitely regret it. 300 had to be one of the most intense movies I have ever seen... A once in a lifetime experience.

Turned down the modeling thing. I'm just not serious enough about it to dump that kind of money into it. Sure, it's a good career if it takes off, but I'm not much of a gambling man.

Picked up Sin City on DVD today... The Recut - Extended - Unrated version. Includes the TPB for "Hard Goodbye"; the central story for the movie. A good way for me to start collecting the series.

Speaking of which, I'm going to geek out on comic books for a minute here...

Wednesday is new comic book day. This last week, since only three of the titles I collect came out, I picked up the graphic novel "Watchmen" ( wikipedia article ). It is one of the most important stories in comic book history. Head over to the wikipedia article if you're interested... This is THE comic book that changed superheroes from the ridiculous spandex-wearing goofs seen in the old Batman TV series into the complicated characters you see in the Spiderman movies. As a side note, Watchmen is the next project to be undertaken by the director of 300.

A few weeks ago, I got my hands on another graphic novel that pointed comic book history in a new direction: The Dark Knight Returns ( wiki ). Before 1986, Batman was a complete and total wimp... The kind you remember from the old TV show starring ~~mayor~~ Adam West. Frank Miller's story completely recreated the Batman character, giving him a gritty edge and much darker atmosphere... The perfect anti-superman. Something even showcased in the story, as Bruce Wayne takes on Clark Kent in the later chapters.

Another great Batman story was Hush, written by Jeph Loeb and drawn by Jim Lee ( wiki ). Fantastic story, total eye-candy, and even better in the oversized "Absoulte" format:

Now, those are all fantastic stories and I love them more every time I read them, but the one story I get really excited about is Wanted ( wiki ).

"It features an amoral protagonist who discovers he is the heir to a career as a super-villainous assassin in a world where such villains have secretly taken control of the planet." - Wikipedia

Really, that's all that needs to be said. Could it get any better? Why yes, it can. A film adaptation is currently in production, directed by Timur Bekmambetov, the man behind Nightwatch and Daywatch. It'll feature Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie, so I've got high hopes already. I might go get in line for tickets soon.

300

2007-04-03T20:51:00.000-06:00

Go see 300. In the theater. You'll regret it if you don't, I swear to you.

One of the bigger decisions I've had to make...

2007-04-01T21:23:00.000-06:00

Do I sign the contract to hand over what I'd owe for tuition and let a fast paced industry groom me into a piece of talent, or do I pass it up?

Agency 89 wants me to be a model/actor.

It'll cost a little bit of money, time, and effort, but the payoff is potentially endless. I think this is the heaviest decision I've ever had to make.

satisfaction

2007-03-15T17:48:00.000-06:00

I've spent some money recently...

First of all, I got a new car stereo. The alpine CDA-9885. New for 2007, cheaper than last year's model, and packed to the teeth with everything you could possibly need. The sound is fantastic, even with my factory speakers.

My cell phone contract was up for renewal, and with it, I had the option of upgrading my phone... So, enter the new LG VX-8600

It's a damn sexy phone.
Oh, and as you may notice... I use an Xbox 360 controller on my computer. Makes playing some of my games much easier, and way more fun. And besides, with my new monitor, it's nice to be able to sit back (unnecessarily long cord on the controller). That brings me to my next thing...

Honestly, 32 inches is entirely way too much internet in one eye-full. Buuuut... Movies are sweet, video games are orgasmic, and to be able to finally watch a bit of TV without fighting anyone for the remote is nice. Aqua Teen Hunger Force, here I come.

I should note, LG makes a fantastic TV. Since it's a TV, not a computer monitor, and I don't have High-Def hookups, not everything looks fantastic. I'm actually running at a lower resolution because the DVI-port on the TV only supports up to 1360x768 (horribly pixellated), but only looks good at 1280x720. Before, on my old 17-incher, 1280x1024 was nice and crisp. Sure, I can see plenty from left-to-right, but up and down scrolling is annoying as hell. An HDMI cord, if I ever get around to spending the $100 on it, should show me a crisp 1920x1080i that'll look fan-freaking-tastic. Can't wait to fire up ye olde star wars trilogy at that resolution. If you're even so much as thinking about considering picking up the Apple 30" cinema HD display for their ungodly price of $1,900, don't. My LG 32" LCD HDTV was on sale at Best Buy for $899.99, regularly $1,199. Even without the sale, it's a steal for all the features you get... You know, like, being more than just a computer screen.

But enough of my nerding-out. There's more to life than car-stereos, enormous TV's, and cell-phones...

We've had fantastic weather this week. 14 days ago, I was looking out the window as nearly two feet of snow was being dropped on the ground. Even just 7 days ago, I was wondering if the white crap would ever melt off completely. Two 70+ degree days got everyone thinking of summer and wearing shorts during the next two 50-degree days. I love it.

After work on Monday, I met a bunch of friends over at Two Rivers Park for some of the best cook-out I've ever had. Roast Boar, they said. It's hard to believe that a whole year ago we were getting ready to graduate and wondering how things would change... Turns out, pretty much everyone is the same. This, of course, is not what everyone was telling us; "You're all going to change so much. You'll mature and probably won't even talk to your high-school friends anymore." I really can't count how many times I heard that. In reality, I think by our senior year, we (by this, I mean the people I consider my friends. What follows does not apply to... many others) had matured far beyond high school. Most of us were working near full-time jobs and were only connected to family by the fact that we slept at the houses our parents owned... Sometimes. So, it's nice to see everyone is who I remember them being. Gives you a warm-fuzzy feeling inside to know you have that kind of refuge.

Oh, and Rachel really digs my friends. Says she can see herself hanging out with them a lot. Not sure how feelings are on the other end, but this is all fantastic to me. I really couldn't ask for my life to be any better at this point.

whaaat?

2007-03-02T18:54:00.001-06:00

HOLY SNOW!

HA!

2007-03-01T13:57:00.001-06:00

I just wanted to take a day off... I called in without even knowing what the weather was really like.

Car...

2007-02-20T22:36:00.000-06:00

Grabbed a quick carwash and snapped a few pics...

2007-02-19T17:50:00.000-06:00

Well, there's your goddamn answer! Quit doing that!

yes...

2007-02-17T21:40:00.000-06:00

I know... easier said than done. Always is.

I want to pay my car off. Will take me more than a year, for sure.
Then, maybe... I'll swap it out for a manual transmission. Really want one...
Gonna save up as much money as I can in the meantime, though. Can't hurt.

2007-02-16T17:10:00.001-06:00

I think I'm running out of patience...

2007-02-13T22:18:00.000-06:00

Me: "So, where's my money?"
Dad: "oh, that's my money now."

me: "I just want to know what's going to happen to that money."
Mom: "He's just trying to understand what's happening to the money that he feels belongs to him."
Dad: "He doesn't want to know what's going to happen to the money."

Hold the fuck on... Did that really happen?

2007-02-12T22:20:00.001-06:00

i gotta get out of here

.

2007-02-12T16:40:00.001-06:00

goddamnit...

I think...

2007-02-11T21:25:00.000-06:00

It's growing on me.

Up to 60mph in first gear? Sure, it's only an automatic with manual shift, but damn... It's got balls.

Just bought...

2007-02-10T21:26:00.000-06:00

Black Carbon Fiber Dash Trim Kit from Mimo USA.

Should arrive by the end of the week. Hope it looks as good as I think it will.

Slut

2007-02-04T20:56:00.000-06:00

"She's a slut, man." he says to me, pointing with the fingers he uses to hold his cigarette.

To this, I have to raise an eyebrow. "Oh? What makes you say that?"

"She fucked Paco. Anyone who fucks Paco has got to be a slut." He nods and looks around for approval. The people standing around who know what he's talking about nod in agreement.

This is somewhat discouraging news. I thought she was sort of cute, but not in that way... In the "big brother" sort of way. She'd talk to me during lunch period at school and I'd give her the best advice I could. "What's it matter if she fucked Paco?"

He stares at me in disbelief. "Cause he's a dirty fucking Mexican drug dealer, man!"

I sigh, "Sure... But I still don't see the problem." I know Paco from back in the day. Before his apparent "dirty fucking Mexican drug dealer" days... Back when he was just "dirty fucking Mexican".

"And she's filthy little 15-year old pussy." He shivers like chills run down his back.

I shake my head.

His face is covered in disbelief as he tries to bring me over to his side, "Did you hear the things she was saying about being lonely and how she can't catch a break?"

"Dude, I haven't talked to Paco since eighth grade, nor have I even been to his house. I wouldn't know what goes on there or what somebody said. And besides, I don't really care who said what. Everybody feels like that sometimes."

"She's pathetic! She has problems, man. She thinks she's 'depressed'." He says, making in-air quotation marks with his fingers.

"Chill the fuck out, man. It almost sounds like you're upset she fucked Paco instead of you."

"Hell no, man. That pussy is rotten."

Late Afternoon, Sunday

2007-02-04T17:26:00.000-06:00

Listening to the Gorillaz.
Wanting to learn to drive stick-shift.
Missing my Rachel.
Feeling better after the Flu (round 2, bitch!)

Staying humble, apparently

2007-01-28T15:40:00.000-06:00

Somebody out there must be looking out for me. You see, on Wednesday, we called the salesman we know down at the Toyota dealership and asked him to keep his eyes open for something that could take the place of my wrecked Celica. On Tuesday, the insurance adjuster came by and totaled the car, leaving me out of luck. I ended up getting a check from Geico for $11,300, the value of my wrecked car. "Showroom Quality" they said. Of course. After all, it was my baby.

Anyway, I was out of luck and needed a break. Mike, the salesman, said he might have something for me. "Bring the boy in right now." he tells my mom. At about 5pm after I got off work, we walked into the dealership to find Mike halfway through filing the paperwork for... apparently, my new car. A 2000 Toyota Celica GT-S.

Yeah, same friggin' thing... in Silver.

Gonna cost me some more... They combined what I still owed on the wrecked car to the loan for the new one, so my payments are higher. I should be eligible for accident forgiveness on my insurance policy, so that shouldn't change much.

I mentioned being humble, though, right?

No time to celebrate, you've got the flu!

So, for the past three days I've been half-conscious, drugged up, and to the bathroom every 10 minutes. It's a vicious little virus, folks.

Sitting around the house gave me a good chance to finish reading the Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's books like this one that really get me angry about high school. They waste our time stuffing books like "A Passage to India" and "King Lear" down our throats when they should focus on books that might actually help us deal with what we're going through. I really couldn't give two shits about politics in India during the British Empire.

Alright, I'll back off.

What I'm trying to say is, if you haven't read "Perks" yet, do it.

Slow weekend

2007-01-21T12:27:00.000-06:00

I'm still having trouble believing what happened. Still have my fingers crossed that everything will get back to normal. I really don't like the idea that my future isn't entirely up to me... That's why I really don't believe in God or destiny.

Waiting to see what the insurance claims adjuster has to say, and what the judge has to say in court... Well, that's about the most disturbing thing I've had to put up with. I'm a take-charge kind of guy. If I want something, I do what I have to do. Leaving my fate up to someone else... I can't do that. I'm not handling it well.

Even if I hadn't gotten into the accident, though, I'd still be sitting through this craptastic weekend. All I really want to do is hang out with Rachel. Her work schedule and the weather keep that from happening. So, even if my car was fine, I'd still be stuck at home going crazy. I think about this, I look at things realistically, and I still freak out. I shouldn't be worried, but I've got way too much going on in my mind to be able to stay calm.

I've been trying to keep busy. Went grocery shopping with my parents... Messing around with old stuff on my computer... Playing old video games and reading. That's why I suggest checking out "Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. It's a little weird reading a book that sounds like it was written by a 13-year old kid, but you do get used to it, and it does fit the story quite well. I wonder if the writing style is just a gimmick, or if that really is his voice.

Old video games... Are the best. There was a day when games were good because they were fun. Nowadays, the selling-point seems to be realism. I get it... but I don't like it all the time. Games are too complicated nowadays. I think that's why the Guitar Hero games are so great -- simple, easy fun. Anyone can pick it up and have a blast.

I have this game... From 1999. I used to play it on the computers at Brownell. Tyrian 2000. Turns out the guy who created it posted it up on the internet for free. The catch is, it doesn't run on my computer. Windows XP won't support it properly. I had to download a DOS emulator called "DOSBox" to get it running, but it was worth it.

You can download it here. Then, grab DosBox here.

Now, here's where it gets complicated. This is what I did:
Copy your "Tyrian 2000" folder to your C:\ drive, creating the directory "C:\Tyrian2000".
Make sure there aren't any spaces in the filename, since DOS doesn't support filenames with spaces.
Run dosbox and type "mount C C:\Tyrian2000". That will point the prompt to the right directory.
Then, type "C:" and the "Z:\" prefix should change to "C:\".
Then, type "setup" to run the Tyrian Setup file.
Choose your settings, music and sound volume, etc... I suggest running at "High" detail settings. "Pentium" is a little too much for the emulator to handle.
Save and Exit. This will return you to the DosBox prompt.
Typing "file0001" will run the game.
Adjust the CPU cycle speed using "Ctrl+F12". The current setting is displayed in the bar at the top of the DosBox window. I run mine at 15000 and things are pretty smooth.
If the speed is good but the music is a little choppy, you can hit "Ctrl+F8" to change the frameskip setting. A setting of 1 seems to get everything running like it should on my computer.
If you think you've gone too far, "Ctrl+F7" will lower the frameskip and "Ctrl+F11" will lower the CPU cycle speed.

So, yeah... that's pretty much how I've spent my weekend.

Read.

2007-01-20T23:46:00.000-06:00

Read"The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

This is going to be... difficult.

2007-01-19T20:09:00.000-06:00

I... Uh... I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this.

Financially, I think I'll be alright. I've got full coverage insurance, pretty much maxed out, that should cover getting my car fixed and enough money in the bank to cover the deductible. I'm glad I was prepared for this. Plus, with tax returns on the way, I should be able to pretty much slide back into regularity.

I have no idea what the judge is going to tell me. I was ticketed with "negligible driving", but that's what the cop cited me with for being at fault in the accident and judged appropriate according to what a witness said. He did, though, say that what the witness had to say was purely opinion and that in court, things could change.

I was changing lanes near 156th and dodge, planning to exit dodge there. It looked as if I was clear, and I was, except that traffic was backed up and at a standstill. I didn't have enough time to stop before I collided with the car in front of me.

Shaken up, but in one piece. Now I'm just worried about how much Geico is going to screw me on insurance and about how things will turn out in court.

Things not to do...

2007-01-18T20:05:00.000-06:00

Well, I made a big mistake tonight. I shouldn't discuss moving out with my parents... They're very "disapproving". I'm way too immature to live on my own, and there's no way I could make it on my own financially, they say.

We'll see what my raise does for me, and getting a roommate can do. It won't happen for a while, so I really don't know what they're so pissed off about...

You can see why I want so badly to get out.

Check out:
Gandolfo's New York Deli
Dead Like Me
Death From Above 1979
Superman
Michael Vick ( http://www.wtkr.com/Global/story.asp?S=5956324&nav=ZolHbyvj )

Whatever happened to...

2007-01-17T21:24:00.001-06:00

whatever happened to honor?

Code: Hero, right, Tim?
Lets bring manly back --
Cause knights in shining armor are totally sexy.

Check out:
Collective Soul
Tortoise
and... Incubus... some more.

A few words...

2007-01-14T15:01:00.000-06:00

Apparently, I have sexy arms...

Oh, and if you haven't seen it yet, check out Incubus: Alive at Red Rocks.

I've got a little something...

2007-01-05T22:23:00.000-06:00

Writing...

Not sure if I'll post drafts, or what condition I'll allow it to go public in... But I hope I can get it somewhere that I'm proud of...

Holy crap!

2006-12-31T09:03:00.001-06:00

2007?!

I need to get gas... again.

2006-12-23T15:04:00.000-06:00

...got myself a new poster... Soundgarden, Superunknown. I didn't think I'd ever be able to find it.

Oh, and a new Pearl Jam bootleg. Greensboro, North Caronlina, Aug 6, 2000.
It has "Brain of J", "In My Tree", and "State of Love and Trust"... A good buy, I think.

Later, I'll be meeting up with Rachel again.

I've been writing a lot lately... All in my journal, all about stuff that's been happening lately. Not short stories or anything that I really wish I had the inspiration to write, but I'm at least writing something -- getting into the groove.

apparently i don't know...

2006-12-23T00:29:00.000-06:00

I do things I think will turn out badly... And nothing bad happens.

That's good, right?

I want more.

Blame.

2006-12-21T20:50:00.000-06:00

She's the one... It's all her fault.

uh... nervous?

2006-12-20T23:08:00.001-06:00

she calls me Lee.

yes.

I'm going be out of disposable income for a while unless I get a raise... Bellevue is a pretty good distance away.
But I don't mind.
Not at all.

She's absolutely adorable.

Tuck under thumb and hold firmly?

2006-12-18T20:36:00.000-06:00

...what's the motto?

2006-12-12T19:49:00.000-06:00

Have it your way, right?

One day, on my lunch break, I found myself craving one of Burger King's Rodeo Burgers... You know, the one with the onion rings and barbecue sauce? The only gripe I have against the burger is that it comes with only one beef patty. That fateful day, I was rather hungry and didn't feel like ordering an extra burger. Instead, taking the fast food establishment's motto into consideration, I ordered a Double Rodeo Burger.

*gasp*

Yes, I know. The teenaged girl at the register was dumbfounded. Thankfully, the manager was looking over her shoulder and pointed to the "extra patty" button on the register.

Just a few minutes ago, at a different Burger King, I found myself in the situation once more. I ordered a Double Rodeo Burger. Confused and unsure what to do, the guy at the register said to me, "The Rodeo Burger comes with only one patty." But oh, I've been here, I've done this, I know it's possible! And besides, is your motto not "Have it your way"? I'll pay whatever amount you attach to it, I just want more meat on my burger. Charge me for a second Rodeo Burger if you want; they're only a dollar now.

Is it that hard to do? I mean, is it that hard to think outside the box? So there isn't a button on the register that says "Double Rodeo". Big deal.

Is it so weird that I want one? Am I the only one?

decisions, decisions...

2006-12-11T20:24:00.000-06:00

I drive a white 2000 Toyota Celica:

And, I love it to death...

Which is why I'd like to treat it to a bit of fixing up. Not that it needs it, of course. It's only six years old, with barely more than 80,000 miles and no noticeable damage anywhere. I don't mean to brag... I'm just really proud of it.

Anyway, I've gotten around to some websites and checked out some of my options.

Sport Compact Only has a good selection of choices... for any kind of part I could be looking for -- Body kits in particular.

The only thing is, changing the look of your car in such a drastic way is a big deal... And so is the hit to your bank account. In other words, I want to be damn sure I make a choice I can be satisfied with. I find it quite interesting the different things people find attractive when looking to dress up their cars. I know it's all a matter of personal preference, but some things I just don't get.

Either way, I found a rather interesting kit made by JP USA Co., inspired by the f-1 look:
http://www.jpusaco.com/jp/products_view.php?pid=22
Honestly, it's not the prettiest thing I've ever seen, but I'll give it credit for originality. Their other offering for the celica (http://www.jpusaco.com/jp/products_view.php?pid=19) is rather conservative by comparison, and the more I compare the two, the more I like the f-1 look.

Yet still, I find myself coming back to the Extreme Dimensions "Vader" kit: http://www.sportcompactonly.com/part.aspx?b=36&c=11&pl=319&p=14137
And damn, does it look good on that dark blue Celica...

Which brings me to question... How far off will the day be that I can afford to dive into such an adventure? What other modifications would I like to make to my car first?

New Car Smell

2006-12-10T12:57:00.000-06:00

Alright, here goes nothing. I'm starting fresh with a new blog.

I decided that if I'm really going to be the writer I keep saying I'm going to be, I have to actually write stuff... So I'll be posting the stuff I write on here, stories, journalistic pieces, and works in progress, along with some journal-esque entries as well. I think that kind of thing is an important part of understanding a writer's work.

Sometime soon I'll throw in some Google ads to generate a bit of money... Eventually I'd like to move on to my own web-space.

the Escape Vehicle

Salivating...

You know what?

this is old...

*wipes dust off*

first step

lucky

deep breath

put some mustard on that sandwich.

Wednesdays, behind the Cinema Center

Pics from the racetrack

Zoom out

I'm gonna do it.

Immigrant Song

Soundwave superior, constructicons inferior

Lame

You know what?

hello?

And so...

Jeeeesus

Not sure

we looked like rock stars

i used to have plans

bad habit

After the concert...

First thing's first...

Clutch - The Incomparable Mr. Flannery

third.

I made a good decision.

refreshing

I don't mind...

you owe me

I can't

painting

the Annual ToyotaLand.Org Meetup!

This one's dedicated to...

Snapped a few pictures...

A few things.

300

One of the bigger decisions I've had to make...

satisfaction

whaaat?

HA!

Car...

yes...

.

I think...

Just bought...

Slut

Late Afternoon, Sunday

Staying humble, apparently

Slow weekend

Read.

This is going to be... difficult.

Things not to do...

Whatever happened to...

A few words...

I've got a little something...

Holy crap!

I need to get gas... again.

apparently i don't know...

Blame.

uh... nervous?

Tuck under thumb and hold firmly?

...what's the motto?

decisions, decisions...

New Car Smell

wipes dust off